Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Coming out of a narcissistic relationship is exhausting. If you haven’t been there, may I recommend that you never go “there”.

Once you are out of the fog created by these relationships, it becomes apparent that it is really hard to actually connect with people. Distance has a level of safety about it.

After the initial trauma of the discard, I did really well to go to work and look after my children. It was all I could do as I tried to find the person I once was. I never made eye contact with anyone less they destroy me further. The brutal manipulation that these types of relationships foist upon people leads to a painful recovery indeed.

The recovery is difficult because one must ponder secrets left by our family of origin to find out the how’s and why’s that lead us to be open to abuse in the first place.

When I finally lifted my head and took a deep breath, I decided that I would begin to reach out, smile at strangers, and begin conversations. I literally had to force myself to be friendly.

I am pretty sure I will never be in an actual relationship again, but I also don’t think that being alone is a bad thing. Everywhere I go now, the Universe and I believe God, opens doors. I’ve met the most interesting people just by being willing to listen to their stories.

I am going to post these encounters here as a reminder that there is life after narcissistic abuse and that good people can be found any place if we are willing to be open.


  1. You have the most awesome attitude!

  2. Thank you for sharing. I am recently working through "unmeshing myself" after a decade of unhealthy bonds. It is an interesting journey back to ourselves isn't it?

    I wish you luck and continued connection :O)

  3. Hi! It's been a long time since I visited your other blog, Bombshell Bliss. I had to completely strip my computer and in the process lost a few connections, you being one of them. I was reading a comment from you from many months ago and it still gives me strength. For some reason though, I failed to remember that you also had a relationship with a narcissist.

    I'm sorry. It is horrible what is left afterward. And I agree, it certainly does cause us or perhaps beg us to look at why or how we got there in the first place, although, I do think part of a narcissist's poison is the ability to con us. I guess we all experience it in our own ways, the aftermath that is, but I shall not let myself forget that no matter how lonely I was, or how I may have been desensitized to negative behavior, or how I may have not learned that my opinions and feelings matter -- really matter -- that I was conned. I think anyone can be conned by an intelligent narcissist.

    I want to say how awesome I think it is that you are taking this approach to feel a connection. Meeting people, seeing what you admire and like about them, and sharing that on this blog is a gift. Thank you.

    I loved reading about the people you wrote about! What a healthy way to help yourself and I bet your friendship and knowing you means a lot to these people.

    What a pretty blog too, just like your other one.

    I'm sorry to hear you are out of work still. Unless that has changed I sure hope things get better for you that way.

    And I hope your heart is healing.

    I'm glad I found you again. I'll look forward to more of your encounters. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.

  4. I've missed your other blog. Can't seem to access it now. I'm glad I found this one. I had been wondering how you were doing... Any work yet?

    I'm at this stage now - finding it very difficult to connect with people. That's why the internet has become my best friend. I can connect without really making myself too vulnerable.

    I will take a lead from you and start looking people in the eye and smiling. It will be a start..